Santa's broke this year, and he made it everyone's problem.

Open the card and Santa himself delivers the bad news in a 30 second recorded message: no gifts this year, because the Mrs. picked up a side hustle at NorthPoleOnly.com. Tucked inside is her collectible Miss December 2026 centerfold, which is exactly as ridiculous as it sounds, and 100% PG-13.

Premium 7 x 5 inch top-fold card with a built-in sound module. A 30 second voice message from Santa (and the Mrs.) plays when the card opens. Includes the fold-out Miss December 2026 centerfold insert and blank writing space for your own note.

Grandma safe. Marriage tested. Ho ho ho.